Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
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I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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