Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
