i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Randomize
