some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
