Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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