she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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