In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
