just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
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Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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