No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
