I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
