i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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