her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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