you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
