It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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