I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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