You're so nebulous sometimes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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