so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
