His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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