wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
