She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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