all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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