Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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