Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
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Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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