i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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