That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
