Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
