I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
