I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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