you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
