there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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