I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
