Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
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I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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