He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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