I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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