Dual....:-)
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
