and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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