I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
