That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Two words: blizzard sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize