At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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