Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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