we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
