I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
