You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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