When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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