strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
