I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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