I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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