I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
