He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
