I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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