i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
