this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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