I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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