Sponge bath it is.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.