You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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