neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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