Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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