At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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