A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
