I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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