I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
