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• (765): View more from Indiana

  So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next

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• (805): View more from California

  Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm

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• (561): View more from Florida

  We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.

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