I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden