That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.