Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate

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  (630) i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate http://tfl.nu/ziyg
  Replies (20) Good night (849) Bad night (1258)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!

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  (248): Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count! http://tfl.nu/jr1g
  Replies (5) Good night (960) Bad night (868)
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  (661): View more from California

  how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?

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  (661): how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth? http://tfl.nu/fdur
  Replies (45) Good night (973) Bad night (3840)
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  (916): View more from California

  Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?

  (760): View more from California

  You are my hero

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  (916): Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI? (760): You are my hero http://tfl.nu/9mtt
  Replies (36) Good night (7438) Bad night (1255)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby

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  (757): if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby http://tfl.nu/8o91
  Replies (87) Good night (10788) Bad night (2040)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...

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  (617): I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing... http://tfl.nu/p474
  Replies (21) Good night (1357) Bad night (5097)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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  (715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7
  Replies (13) Good night (2832) Bad night (701)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead

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  (630): I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead http://tfl.nu/lnf3
  Replies (8) Good night (2634) Bad night (577)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.

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  (252): He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line. http://tfl.nu/pkvq
  Replies (6) Good night (689) Bad night (1060)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.

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  (603): I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar. http://tfl.nu/vit3
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (1339)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?

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  (516): I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight? http://tfl.nu/oach
  Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.

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  (336): he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever. http://tfl.nu/31ik
  Replies (16) Good night (699) Bad night (2380)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once

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  (617): she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once http://tfl.nu/vv4r
  Replies (5) Good night (1132) Bad night (350)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.

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  (307): im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight. http://tfl.nu/fph0
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.

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  (857): He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive. http://tfl.nu/yodw
  Replies (0) Good night (287) Bad night (509)

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