Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?

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  (317): question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay? http://tfl.nu/r2f8
  Replies (63) Good night (3328) Bad night (732)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Turn them off?

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  (419): Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day? (216): Turn them off? http://tfl.nu/9fwv
  Replies (20) Good night (4218) Bad night (731)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.

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  (630): just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol. http://tfl.nu/7wr8
  Replies (8) Good night (753) Bad night (3653)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.

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  (361): Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight. http://tfl.nu/rb6t
  Replies (93) Good night (6965) Bad night (2316)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.

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  (609): I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk. http://tfl.nu/79zz
  Replies (70) Good night (5741) Bad night (825)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave

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  (617): he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave http://tfl.nu/ypxh
  Replies (32) Good night (706) Bad night (5105)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night

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  (610): There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night http://tfl.nu/8wbo
  Replies (8) Good night (4012) Bad night (1038)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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  (940): I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too. http://tfl.nu/vi8f
  Replies (41) Good night (1550) Bad night (8158)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face

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  (682): I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face http://tfl.nu/zwwu
  Replies (16) Good night (5652) Bad night (1299)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.

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  (818): I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job. http://tfl.nu/0hbs
  Replies (13) Good night (2667) Bad night (961)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant

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  (248): she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant http://tfl.nu/st8i
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (1512)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina

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  (902): Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina http://tfl.nu/gzz0
  Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (538)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"

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  (480): Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!" http://tfl.nu/823i
  Replies (0) Good night (472) Bad night (298)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  If tits could talk, mine would be bragging

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  (+61): If tits could talk, mine would be bragging http://tfl.nu/uf52
  Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (323)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode

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  (956): Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode http://tfl.nu/5ugf
  Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (567)

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