I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
