VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
