ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
