so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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